Adela said something in the comments that I have not stopped thinking about. The real KPI for a leader is not how fast they learn new frameworks. It is how fast they can unlearn the outdated ones. I think that applies to how we write too.
What have you had to unlearn to find your own voice?
I share your opinion completely. My background is in M&A and Tech, where the performative politics and senseless battles over slides often overshadow actual leadership. I chose the bold route: ignoring the noise to focus entirely on building teams that are actually smart, safe, and fun to work with. I think we need to start measuring leaders by their integrity, their ability to listen, and how well they bring brilliant people together to do their best work. I'm still dreaming of a metric that measures a CEO's cognitive agility. It’s easy to learn new buzzwords; the real KPI is how fast they can unlearn their outdated habits.
What you did just ignoring the noise and building something real is harder than it sounds. Most people spend years waiting for permission to do exactly that.
Your point about unlearning is the one that stays with me. Learning new frameworks is easy. Most leaders are actually quite good at it. But unlearning letting go of the model that got you here, the habits that used to work, the identity built around being the one who always has the answer that's the real work. And almost nobody measures it.
I’ve written about how the pace and performance culture we’ve built can start shaping who we think we’re supposed to be. It’s exhausting in ways that are hard to name.
I really respect you choosing to slow down and return to what actually feels like yours.
I realized trying to keep up and constantly perform to meet expectations was slowly draining me in ways I couldn’t ignore anymore.
We’ve normalized the idea that if you’re not operating at 100% all the time, you’re falling behind. That isn’t sustainable. Not even machines run that way.
Maintenance and downtime aren’t weakness. Some seasons require processing. Others require action. We’re not all built on the same settings.
"Not even machines run that way." This is so good.
We build systems with maintenance windows, redundancy, and scheduled downtime built in. And then we expect humans to operate without any of that. It is such an obvious contradiction when you say it out loud.
Thank you for sharing this. It takes something to name it, especially when the culture around you treats it as weakness. I'm glad you found your way back to yourself.
It so sense there's a lot of hype in the tech world. I personally have never seen so much exaggerations and some get away with it, while we the public get to handle the "bugs"... Looking forward reading your next posts.
I'm writing a book entitled Leadership as a Verb, and I'm writing a chapter about if we need to rethink what leadership really means, at the moment feels that whenever we mention leadership people imagine a male dress up nicely and above others. Feels very corporate at the moment. We might a change.
Indeed Fatiha, I feel most big tech CEOs and alike, behave like a sales person. Promising hope and a better life, when they know from the get go their products also cause some harmful effect on us, not to mention the environment. I do believe we need to rethink what leadership really means to us. And perhaps the current "model" we grow to accept is fundamentally wrong, or less distributed.
It does makes the mind from wondering about. I urge people to don't give up on reading and writing if they can. Our brains need to imagine, to make sense of it all.
Tino, thank you for sharing your experience and for making the right decision for yourself. The workplace needs people like you but sometimes priorities are to sell another product rather than looking in the mirror and admitting, “I need help.” Leadership isn’t easy, and people need coaches and advisors. But first, they need to overcome their ego and realize how many others are affected by their actions.
Thank you, Anna. "Looking in the mirror" is exactly it and the hardest part is that the people who most need to do it are usually the ones most convinced they already have.
And yes, sometimes the organisation has to lose someone before it's willing to look.
Adela said something in the comments that I have not stopped thinking about. The real KPI for a leader is not how fast they learn new frameworks. It is how fast they can unlearn the outdated ones. I think that applies to how we write too.
What have you had to unlearn to find your own voice?
We are all work in progress, so learning is a given, I suppose.
I share your opinion completely. My background is in M&A and Tech, where the performative politics and senseless battles over slides often overshadow actual leadership. I chose the bold route: ignoring the noise to focus entirely on building teams that are actually smart, safe, and fun to work with. I think we need to start measuring leaders by their integrity, their ability to listen, and how well they bring brilliant people together to do their best work. I'm still dreaming of a metric that measures a CEO's cognitive agility. It’s easy to learn new buzzwords; the real KPI is how fast they can unlearn their outdated habits.
The battles over slides...
What you did just ignoring the noise and building something real is harder than it sounds. Most people spend years waiting for permission to do exactly that.
Your point about unlearning is the one that stays with me. Learning new frameworks is easy. Most leaders are actually quite good at it. But unlearning letting go of the model that got you here, the habits that used to work, the identity built around being the one who always has the answer that's the real work. And almost nobody measures it.
I felt this deeply.
I’ve written about how the pace and performance culture we’ve built can start shaping who we think we’re supposed to be. It’s exhausting in ways that are hard to name.
I really respect you choosing to slow down and return to what actually feels like yours.
This means a lot. Really.
"Shaping who we think we're supposed to be" that's it. That's the thing I was circling around for months without finding the words.
It sounds like we've been sitting with similar things. That kind of exhaustion is so hard to name out loud, which is maybe why so few people do.
Thank you for being here and for taking the time to write this.
Life circumstances forced me to reevaluate too.
I realized trying to keep up and constantly perform to meet expectations was slowly draining me in ways I couldn’t ignore anymore.
We’ve normalized the idea that if you’re not operating at 100% all the time, you’re falling behind. That isn’t sustainable. Not even machines run that way.
Maintenance and downtime aren’t weakness. Some seasons require processing. Others require action. We’re not all built on the same settings.
"Not even machines run that way." This is so good.
We build systems with maintenance windows, redundancy, and scheduled downtime built in. And then we expect humans to operate without any of that. It is such an obvious contradiction when you say it out loud.
Thank you for sharing this. It takes something to name it, especially when the culture around you treats it as weakness. I'm glad you found your way back to yourself.
Many of us struggle with the same questions.
Keep writing!
Thank you. That's exactly why I came back to it.
It so sense there's a lot of hype in the tech world. I personally have never seen so much exaggerations and some get away with it, while we the public get to handle the "bugs"... Looking forward reading your next posts.
I'm writing a book entitled Leadership as a Verb, and I'm writing a chapter about if we need to rethink what leadership really means, at the moment feels that whenever we mention leadership people imagine a male dress up nicely and above others. Feels very corporate at the moment. We might a change.
Looking forward for the book.
This resonates! The work landscape has changed and the struggle is real.
I equally noticed Tech CEO’s being more like sales agents than company leaders and quite frankly things become a bit blurred and unclear
Indeed Fatiha, I feel most big tech CEOs and alike, behave like a sales person. Promising hope and a better life, when they know from the get go their products also cause some harmful effect on us, not to mention the environment. I do believe we need to rethink what leadership really means to us. And perhaps the current "model" we grow to accept is fundamentally wrong, or less distributed.
Keep up the writing Diamantino. I think in tough times, a writing habit is the thing one needs to keep preserving.
Thank you Rob.
It does makes the mind from wondering about. I urge people to don't give up on reading and writing if they can. Our brains need to imagine, to make sense of it all.
Tino, thank you for sharing your experience and for making the right decision for yourself. The workplace needs people like you but sometimes priorities are to sell another product rather than looking in the mirror and admitting, “I need help.” Leadership isn’t easy, and people need coaches and advisors. But first, they need to overcome their ego and realize how many others are affected by their actions.
Thank you, Anna. "Looking in the mirror" is exactly it and the hardest part is that the people who most need to do it are usually the ones most convinced they already have.
And yes, sometimes the organisation has to lose someone before it's willing to look.
Looking forward to what’s to come :)
Me too, honestly. For the first time in a while, so am I.